Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
