My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
