i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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