I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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