but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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