did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
