i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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