Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
