I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
