I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
