his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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