i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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