its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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