All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
