you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
