Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
