Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
