I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
