Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
