OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She announced her abortion via fbk
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
