somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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