I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize