Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
