JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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