hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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