hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
