plz talk dirty to me
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
