who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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