I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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