u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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