We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
