OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize