So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
