Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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