i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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