who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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