I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
