What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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