Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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