I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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