Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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