her vagine was all disorganized.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My vagina is officially offended.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
