I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
