Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
