We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
