when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
this just has baby written all over it
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
