Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
