i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
