Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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