You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
