i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
