did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
