No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Vodka?
Forever.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
