so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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