I heard we made out
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
