Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
