just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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