HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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