A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
