Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No I am not eating basil off your cock
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
