operation harelip BJ is a go
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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