She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I AM VODKA MAN
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize