Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
