North Korea, Best Korea!
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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