i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
