Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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