i permit you to call me
wanna go halves on a baby?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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