dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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