can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
