So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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