I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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