Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
