I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
