hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
