I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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