You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
