The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
