I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
