WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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