He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It was confusing and full of hummus
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
